Slow Hand,or Enjoying the Finish

I've written before about creating sexual tension in romance writing and the need to draw out the climax of a story (or sex scene).

Strangely enough, I do the same thing in my writing process.

Right now, for instance, when I could be sprinting to the finish line of a complete first draft of my current manuscript, I'm drawing out the writing process by taking frequent breaks, even not writing for a day or two, or intermittently working on other pieces.

What is wrong with me?

Well, for one thing, I enjoy the feeling of completing a manuscript and, subconsciously try to make the feeling last by delaying the moment when I type in "The End" and put the story to rest for a while before I come back to edit it.

So, the question is, is that really wrong?

I don't think so.

I've come to accept that I enjoy the process almost as much as the reaching the goal (and sometimes more).  Nearing the end of a manuscript draft is a pleasure that lasts for a long while, however completing the draft is a finite moment.  Don't get me wrong, I want to reach that finite moment...and soon.  But in the meantime, I'm enjoying the slow burn.

Fear of Failing

I set myself up to fail sometimes.

Okay, that is a depressing statement.  I don't actually mean that I want to fail, but that I set goals that make it nearly impossible not to fail.  Take, for example, my recent resolution to write for an hour every day.  Now, I know with my work schedule and family life that I don't have an hour a day to spare.  Not every single day, certainly.  Yet I gave myself this goal and -- surprise, surprise -- I failed to reach it in the very first day.  And the next day.  And the next.

In fact, since I made that resolution to write for an hour every day, I have not written for an hour any day.  Yup, it's almost like I enjoyed the process of failing to stick to my resolution.

Almost.

The experience has made me wonder about myself.  What makes me write less at the very time I had promised myself to write more?

Maybe I made that promise to myself because I was feeling a lack of inspiration or energy to write.  Maybe I made the resolution at the very worst time to make it.  Maybe I'd just gotten lazy.

Or maybe I was afraid of giving it my all and still coming up short.  Of writing the very best story or novel that I could and still having no one willing to represent or publish it.

That's called fear of failing and before people started worrying about fearing success, they were caught up in worrying about this (which really makes more sense, when you think about it).

Fear of failing begins with a fear of trying.

The problem is that while trying leads to failure, it can also lead to success.  I may be anxious about how I will how I will handle sudden success (fingers crossed) but I'm not fearful of achieving publication and writing accolades, which have been my dream since I was a child.  I am fearful of spending so much of my life chasing this dream and never quite making it.

Does it mean that I won't be making any more resolutions about writing?  No.

Does this mean that I will stop trying?  Never!

How to be a Successful Introvert

Creative writing and introversion - these are often linked in popular culture. The shy, bookish nerd who writes dark poetry. There’s one of these in every television show or movie about high school. If you write, you might even be one of them.

I’ll confess: I was a shy, bookish nerd in high school. I wrote dark but socially conscious poetry. For variety, I also wrote dark but socially conscious stories. I did well in school so my academic success often pushed me (unwillingly) into the spotlight. So did my writing, when I won a city-wide competition for my poems and essay. I had the shortest acceptance speech out of all of the award recipients and my brevity was awarded with a compliment and quote in the local newspaper.

The strange thing was that whenever I was called upon to perform in public, I enjoyed that role. I was no longer focused on the intimate conversational requirements of school but could disappear, in a way, in front of the crowd. I don’t see faces when I speak in public, I see a mass of faces that blur into none. For that reason, I am more confident public speaking than, say, meeting new people.

In recent years, I have been told that I am a very friendly and sociable person. Inside, I still feel like the shy nerd. I still describe myself as shy. If I can blend into the background and do my own thing, I will. But this is often impossible.

So how did I overcome my shyness and introversion?

Learn: Use your writer’s eye for detail to see what makes other people appear sociable, likeable and friendly. Start thinking about extroversion as a learnable skill. Yes, you may be naturally inclined to introversion but that’s no reason you have to feel awkward or ill equipped to handle social interactions. And for most of us, every day is jam packed with a multitude of social interactions, from dealing with coworkers to making purchases from a store. Think of these as learning opportunities.

Most extroverts fall into patterns. They greet people warmly every day. They make eye contact. They inquire about the other person’s weekend. They listen and respond to the other person’s replies. They engage that person completely. Attention to another person can’t be faked. You either are focused on that person and that conversation or you’re not. So don’t try to chat with a colleague during the busiest part of your day (or theirs!).

Challenge yourself: Sometimes it’s hard to change your stripes once you’re locked into familiar patterns of your own. Try breaking out of your ordinary routine and try out learned social behaviours in a new environment where the pressure may be lower.

Take a course. Visit a museum or gallery. Join a club. Pick something you’re already interested in or enjoy. It will be easier to connect with others who have similar interests or hobbies.

By doing one of these activities, you will also be throwing yourself into the ‘deep end’. New environment. New activity. New faces. But keep in mind that the stakes are lower when you step out of your usual paths through life. If you mess up (or think you have), you don’t have to take that course again or go to another meeting of that particular club. Revamp and try again later in a different venue. If you live in the city like I do, you have a virtually unlimited field of people to alienate!

Practice, practice, practice: Watch what works for extroverts you admire and try to emulate parts of their modus operandi. Keep what feels natural and ditch what doesn’t. Keep in mind that most of what’s new to you won’t feel natural the first time. Only practice will make social interactions run smoothly.

In the real world, we all put our feet in our mouths sometimes. Don’t let that get you down. Part of it may be a learning curve but some gaffes are just natural. Every one makes them, even the most dedicated extroverts.

I am still introverted. By this, I mean that I am happy and comfortable with my own company and fulfilled in the lonely task of writing. I think that trait becomes a writer. But I also enjoy interacting with the people I see every day, even making small talk, a chore I hated growing up. A brief conversation with an acquaintance can brighten my day and that’s the best reward for my changed behaviour.

Patterns in Romance Fiction

People who don't read romance novels have been heard to say that the entire genre revolves around a handful of cliches.  The powerful Type A male and the woman who tames him, the experienced rake and the beautiful virgin, the kidnappings, the marriages of convenience, the secret babies...etc.

I say, not true!  Yes, these aspects still appear in many novels but they are not cliches any more than the suggestion than a novel about star-crossed lovers would necessarily be a re-working of Romeo and Juliet.  These are patterns and patterns persist because of their universality.  If, as some literary experts have it, there are only thirty-odd plots in literature and Shakespeare has done them all (and well too) then why is anyone bothering to write anymore?

Well, simply, because it hasn't all been done yet.  Every new novel has the potential to add a twist on the old thirty-odd plots.

Patterns are good.  They give readers a foundation of the familiar from which the writer can jump off with their own take or twist.  Done right, a pattern does not have to become a tired cliche.

Romance fiction itself relies on certain rules.  For one, the romantic element of the story takes precedence over all other aspects of the plot.  There is a difference between a mystery with a romantic subplot and a romance with a mysterious subplot.  Read any Agatha Christie mystery and you will almost invariably find a romance brewing between two of the characters but the mystery is always predominant.  While the romantic subplot may throw a twist into the works, the real purpose of the story is to find out whodunnit and why.  The romance adds a vital flavour to the mystery.  Similarly, the addition of a crime and the process of figuring out who committed it, in addition to adding danger into the lives of the main characters, can drive much of a romance novel.  However, the end purpose is to use the crime to bring the two characters together; the solution to the crime itself is incidental.

Another frequent romance pattern is the Happily Ever After (or HEA) ending.  While not all romance publishers or specific lines demand it, most still do.  In other words, the two main characters should end up together (often on the verge of marriage) when the last page in the book has been turned over.  They've worked out the differences that kept them apart throughout the book, have overcome many obstacles large and small, and have realized their love for each other.  They belong together and their coming together at the end of the book leaves us with a feeling of rightness.  All is warm and fuzzy in the world.

I have to admit that I enjoy the tried-and-true patterns.  I've even produced manuscripts using many of the patterns I noted above.  Hey, if it ain't broke...

Photo courtesy of Tina Phillips at freedigitalphotos.net